675 Quotes by P. G. Wodehouse

She gave me another of those long keen looks, and I could see that she was again asking herself if her favourite nephew wasn’t steeped to the tonsils in the juice of the grape.

If you could call the thing a horse. If it hadn’t shown a flash of speed in the straight, it would have got mixed up with the next race.

Trouble, after all, like beauty, is in the eye of the beholder.

She looked as if she had been poured into her clothes and had forgotten to say ‘when.’

I hardly knew what to do. I wanted, of course, to rush down to Washington Square and grip the poor blighter silently by the hand; and then, thinking it over, I hadn’t the nerve. Absent treatment seemed the touch. I gave it him in waves.

Musical comedy is the Irish stew of drama. Anything may be put into it, with the certainty that it will improve the general effect.

You don’t get any five shillings out of me.’ ‘Oh, all right.’ He sat silent for a space. ‘Things happen to guys that don’t kick in their protection money,’ he said dreamily.

You can’t tell me if there are any special subjects to avoid when talking to him, can you?’ ‘Special subjects?’ ‘Well, you know how it is with a stranger. You say it’s a fine day, and he goes all white and tense, because you’ve reminded him that it was on a fine day that his wife eloped with the chauffeur.

Lord Emsworth belonged to the people-who-like-to-be-left-alone- to-amuse-themselves-when-they-come-to-a-place school of hosts.