675 Quotes by P. G. Wodehouse

The least thing upset him on the links. He missed short putts because of the uproar of the butterflies in the adjoining meadows.

Whenever I get that sad, depressed feeling, I go out and kill a policeman.

To find a man's true character, play golf with him.

If you could call the thing a horse. If it hadn't shown a flash of speed in the straight, it would have got mixed up with the next race.

I pity the shrimp that matches wits with you Jeeves

As for Gussie Finknottle, many an experienced undertaker would have been deceived by his appearance and started embalming on sight.

The fascination of shooting as a sport depends almost wholly on whether you are at the right or wrong end of the gun.

Bertie," he said, "I want your advice." "Carry on." "At least, not your advice, because that wouldn't be much good to anybody. I mean, you're a pretty consummate old [prat], aren't you? Not that I want to hurt your feelings, of course." "No, no, I see that." "What I wish you to do is put the whole thing to that fellow Jeeves of yours, and see what he suggests.

A girl who bonnets a policeman with an ashcan full of bottles is obviously good wife-and-mother timber.