911 Quotes by P. J. O'Rourke

Each child is biologically required to have a mother. Fatherhood is a well-regarded theory, but motherhood is a fact.

When you think of the good old days, think one word: dentistry.

The Greenpeace booth at all the rock and roll shows nowadays are akin to the old sorcerers who used to stand in the middle of villages warning of danger, 'When night wolf swallows mother moon, there will be great famine.'

A very quiet and tasteful way to be famous is to have a famous relative. Then you can not only be nothing, you can do nothing too.

Intelligence collection has been given an additional bureaucracy to correct the problems created by too much bureaucracy in intelligence collection.

The more aspects of life that can be moved from private reign to public realm, the better it is for politics.

I rarely meet a politician that I don't like personally. They are generally well endowed with charm. Therein lies the danger.

Obama, in pursuit of power, has been as greedy and irresponsible as any Wall Street tycoon in pursuit of money.

Why do elites hate the poor? It's xenophobia. They don't know any poor people - except their off-the-books Brazilian nanny and illegal immigrant cleaning lady from Upper Revolta who don't speak English.