911 Quotes by P. J. O'Rourke

A humorist doesn't really do that much note-taking.

Tabasco sauce is to bachelor cooking what forgiveness is to sin.

Smoking is very bad for you and should only be done because it looks so good. People who don't smoke have a terrible time finding something polite to do with their lips.

Barack Obama is more irritating than the other nuisances on the Left.

Death is so important that God visited death upon his own son, thereby helping us learn right from wrong well enough that we may escape death forever and live eternally in God's grace.

A penny will not buy a penny postcard or a penny whistle or a single piece of penny candy. It will not even, if you're managing the U.S. Mint, buy a penny.

You can't get something for nothing. Everybody remembers this except politicians.

Ideology, politics and journalism, which luxuriate in failure, are impotent in the face of hope and joy.

Predicting innovation is something of a self-canceling exercise: the most probable innovations are probably the least innovative.