911 Quotes by P. J. O'Rourke

I don't think I'll ever be a real boat reporter. My Rolex isn't big enough.

Gun violence has cost us too many political leaders, and hardly ever the worst ones.

Journalists are notoriously easy to kid. All you have to do is speak to a journalist in a very serious tone of voice, and he will be certain that you are either telling the truth or a big, important lie.

You're not a baby boomer if you don't have a visceral recollection of a Kennedy and a King assassination, a Beatles breakup, a U.S. defeat in Vietnam, and a Watergate.

Conservatives really don't believe in politics as the primary instrument of getting along in life and therefore don't tend to put their energy into it a way people left of center do.

Collectivism doesn't work because it's based on a faulty economic premise. There is no such thing as a person's "fair share" of wealth. The gross national product is not a pizza that must be carefully divided because if I get too many slices, you have to eat the box. The economy is expandable and, in any practical sense, limitless.

The weirder you're going to behave, the more normal you should look.

I don't even know which end of a computer one is supposed to gaze into. I've never used a computer.

The Bible is very clear about one thing: Using politics to create fairness is a sin.