911 Quotes by P. J. O'Rourke

Jimmy Carter was - he still - he remains to this day America's most ex of ex-presidents. You just can't believe that we elected this doofus. He was a bright enough guy and sort of well-meaning. But he was about as prepared to be president of the United States as your goofy old uncle, you know, the one that memorises baseball statistics.

Anything that makes your mother cry is fun

Being a humorist is not a voluntary thing. You can tell this because in a situation where saying a funny thing will cause a lot of trouble, a humorist will still say the funny thing. No matter how inappropriate.

There is no 20-year period in American history when stocks lost money.

I'm a member of the working press; you'd think I'd know better than to listen to journalists.

You don't despair about something like the Middle East, you just do the best you can.

Art Nouveau got its inspiration from nature. The Bauhaus got its inspiration from engineering.

A pleasant natural environment is a good - a luxury good, philosophical good, a moral goody-good, a good time for all. Whatever, we want it. If we want something, we should pay for it, with our labor or our cash. We shouldn't beg it, steal it, sit around wishing for it, or euchre the government into taking it by force.

It's better to make fun of yourself because you've always got someone around to make fun of, and they can't sue you.