911 Quotes by P. J. O'Rourke

Asia is the continent rhythm forgot. At best Asian music is off-brand American pop, like Sonny Bono in a karaoke bar. At worst Asian music sounds as if a truck full of wind chimes collided with a stack of empty oil drums during a birdcall contest.

Golf combines two favorite American pastimes: taking long walks and hitting things with a stick.

Humor is a terrific tool for explaining things, especially when what you're explaining is frightening or dull and complicated.

Even the dumber parts of our government are not run by idiots. These are ordinary people like us, doing a job. By and large, they're trying to do it as well as they can. Or at least as often as people in the private sector try to do as well as they can.

I like fiction and the kind of history that gives the grace and flavor of fiction to the past. No bloviation on current events, please. I can write that junk myself.

It is a law of governance that democracies have to spend themselves dizzy. Citizens of democracies can, after all, tell their government to give them things.

No one has ever had a fantasy about being tied to a bed and sexually ravished by someone dressed as a liberal

Any person who has spent time outdoors actually doing something, such as hunting and fishing as opposed to standing there with a doobie in his mouth, knows nature is not intrinsically healthy.

Your money does not cause my poverty. Refusal to believe this is at the bottom of most bad economic thinking.