911 Quotes by P. J. O'Rourke

There's not a woman in the book, the plot hinges on unkindness to animals, and the black characters mostly drown by Chapter 29.

The words 'Space Age' have a quaint, nostalgic tone - sitting on midcentury modern furniture watching 'The Jetsons.'

Daniel Patrick Moynihan is the archetypal extremely smart person who went into politics anyway instead of doing something worthwhile for his country.

Sometimes you need a B-2 bomber and sometimes you need your mother.

Cockfighting has always been my idea of a great sport -- two armed entrées battling to see who'll be dinner.

The people who despise America are the editors of the 'New Statesman.' Their green-card applications must have been turned down.

The average IQ in America is—and this can be proven mathematically—average.

Republicans are the party that says government doesn't work, and then they get elected and prove it.

Passover is my idea of a perfect holiday. Dear God, when you're handing out plagues of darkness, locusts, hail, boils, flies, lice, frogs, and cattle murrain, and turning the Nile to blood, and smiting firstborn, give me a pass, and tell me when it's over.