460 Quotes by P.J. O'Rourke

Microeconomics is about money you don’t have, and macroeconomics is about money the government is out of.

Smoking cigarettes seems to alarm peace activists much more than voting for Reagan does.

Family love is messy, clinging, and of an annoying and repetitive pattern, like bad wallpaper.

I’m here as a radio journalist but am not even sure which part of a tape recorder takes the pictures.

Everything that’s fun in life is dangerous. And everything that isn’t fun is dangerous too. It’s impossible to be alive and safe.

Greatest generation came through some stuff that we can’t even imagine – the Depression, World War I – and all they wanted after that was a breather and a calm and a quiet life, and they get us.

There is one thing women can never take away from men. We die sooner.

I like to think of my behavior in the sixties as a ‘learning experience.’ Then again, I like to think of anything stupid I’ve done as a ‘learning experience.’ It makes me feel less stupid.

The only really good vegetable is Tabasco sauce. Put Tabasco sauce in everything. Tabasco sauce is to bachelor cooking what forgiveness is to sin. The next best vegetable is the jalapeno pepper. It has the virtue of turning salads into practical jokes.