460 Quotes by P.J. O'Rourke

Whenever I'm in the middle of conformity, surrounded by oneness of mind with people oozing concurrence on every side, I get scared. And when I find myself agreeing with everybody, too, I get terrified.

The average IQ in America is—and this can be proven mathematically—average.

People are all exactly alike. There's no such thing as a race and barely such a thing as an ethnic group. If we were dogs, we'd be the same breed. George Bush and an Australian Aborigine have fewer differences than a Lhasa apso and a toy fox terrier. A Japanese raised in Riyadh would be an Arab. A Zulu raised in New Rochelle would be an orthodontist. People are all the same, though their circumstances differ terribly.

One of the problems with being a writer is that all of your idiocies are still in print somewhere. I strongly support paper recycling.

We had a choice between Democrats who couldn't learn from the past and Republicans who couldn't stop living in it...

The weirder you're going to behave, the more normal you should look. It works in reverse, too. When I see a kid with three or four rings in his nose, I know there is absolutely nothing extraordinary about that person.

PJ's suggested chant, for pointless protest marches:"Five, four, three, two.We don't have a doggone clue!

A little government and a little luck are necessary in life, but only a fool trusts either of them.

There is only one basic human right, the right to do as you damn well please. And with it comes the only basic human duty, the duty to take the consequences.