460 Quotes by P.J. O'Rourke

Many reporters, when they go to work in the nation’s capital, begin thinking of themselves as participants in the political process instead of glorified stenographers.

The body is forever teaching us lessons. There are all sorts of things that we can’t do, shouldn’t do, had better not do very often or do for too long as we get older. The body makes its presence known.

The weirder you’re going to behave, the more normal you should look.

The American political system is like fast food – mushy, insipid, made out of disgusting parts of things and everybody wants some.

There are a number of mechanical devices which increase sexual arousal, particularly in women. Chief among these is the Mercedes-Benz 380SL convertible.

Abstract anger is great for rhetorical carrying on. You can go on endlessly about the post office, but it doesn’t mean you’re mad at your mailman.

Man developed in Africa. He has not continued to do so there.

The Australian language is easier to learn than boat talk. It has a vocabulary of about six words.

There is parody, when you make fun of people who are smarter than you; satire, when you make fun of people who are richer than you; and burlesque, when you make fun of both while taking your clothes off.