460 Quotes by P.J. O'Rourke

Russian cars are silly. They look like imports drawn by a cartoonist for a UAW newsletter.

Politicians are always interested in people. Not that this is always a virtue. Fleas are interested in dogs.

Thanksgiving is so called because we are all so thankful that it only comes once a year.

The average IQ in America is – and this can be proven mathematically – average.

Rich white Protestant men have held on to some measure of power in America almost solely by getting women, blacks, and other disadvantaged groups to wear crippling foot fashions. This keeps them too busy with corns and bunions to compete in the job market.

The French are a smallish, monkey-looking bunch and not dressed any better, on average, than the citizens of Baltimore. True, you can sit outside in Paris and drink little cups of coffee, but why this is more stylish than sitting inside and drinking large glasses of whiskey I don’t know.

Although computer-generated artificial intelligence eludes us, artificial stupidity has been perfected.

Coffee and cigarettes are much better if you want an instant breakfast.

I like making things. I have a wood shop at home. I am a terrible carpenter but I love doing it.