460 Quotes by P.J. O'Rourke

Soldiers are not policemen, and it’s very unfair, even for those soldiers who have some police training, to burden them with police duties. It’s not what they’re trained for, or equipped for.

Not being a liberal, I have very little grasp of things that I know nothing about.

Children from the age of five to ten should watch more television. Television depicts adults as rotten SOB’s given to fistfights, gunplay, and other mayhem. Kids who believe this about grownups aren’t likely to argue about bedtime.

The wonder is that communism lasted so long. But then again, modern poetry lasted a long time, too.

It’s better to make fun of yourself because you’ve always got someone around to make fun of, and they can’t sue you.

Last year, on a long car trip, I was listening to Rush Limbaugh shout. I usually agree with Rush Limbaugh; therefore I usually don’t listen to him. I listen to NPR: “World to end-poor and minorities hardest hit.” I like to argue with the radio.

We’ll run this planet as we please, and if you don’t like it, go back where we came from.

The Chinese had gunpowder, but it didn’t occur to them to put it in a gun. They possessed the compass but didn’t go anywhere. They invented paper, printing, and a written form of their language, but hardly anyone in China was taught to read.

Politics should be limited in scope to ware, protection of property, and the occasional precautionary beheading of a member of the ruling class.