460 Quotes by P.J. O'Rourke

The sport of skiing consists of wearing three thousand dollars worth of clothes and equipment and driving two hundred miles in the snow in order to stand around at a bar and get drunk.

Sometimes you need a B-2 bomber and sometimes you need your mother.

Because of their cuisine, Germans don’t consider farting rude. They’d certainly be out of luck if they did.

Each child is biologically required to have a mother. Fatherhood is a well-regarded theory, but motherhood is a fact.

The motorcycle is a device created by the team of God and Darwin to rid the world of useless young males.

Politics are for foreigners with their endless wrongs and paltry rights. Politics are a lousy way to get things done. Politics are, like God’s infinite mercy, a last resort.

A nation with a goofy foreign policy needs a very serious policy of defense.

In our brief national history we have shot four of our presidents, worried five of them to death, impeached one and hounded another out of office. And when all else fails, we hold an election and assassinate their character.

When I became a man, I put away childish things and got more elaborate and expensive childish things from France and Japan.