460 Quotes by P.J. O'Rourke

Drugs have taught an entire generation of American kids the metric system.

Republicans are the party that says government doesn't work, and then get elected and prove it.

The sport of skiing consists of wearing three thousand dollars' worth of clothes and equipment and driving two hundred miles in the snow in order to stand around at a bar and get drunk.

Any terrorism is an attack on libertarian values.

The Democrats are the party of government activism, the party that says government can make you richer, smarter, taller, and get the chickweed out of your lawn. Republicans are the party that says government doesn't work, and then get elected and prove it.

Everybody wants to save the earth; no one wants to help mom do the dishes.

The American political system is like fast food - mushy, insipid, made out of disgusting parts of things and everybody wants some.

One of the annoying things about believing in free will and individual responsibility is the difficulty of finding somebody to blame your problems on. And when you do find somebody, it's remarkable how often his picture turns up on your driver's license.

These days, the honeymoon is rehearsed much more often than the wedding.