40 Quotes by Patrice O'Neal

People say life ain’t fairlife is very fair. People aren’t fairpeople are terrible.

People have tried to corner the market on being offended, corner the market on language and corner the market on opinion. Should I lose my job ’cause I offended somebody? No, of course not. Your life should never be affected by public opinion.

Not everybody should be laughing at everything at the same time. That’s not even natural. My thing is to feel natural, because I don’t want to feel like I could just make people laugh at every single joke, every single time, with the same decibel level.

I need a little bass and I don’t even need that crazy bass to break your face. I just want it to sound good when I have my favorite song.

I’m really glad my food comes murdered.

I’m a thigh-meat dude. Thigh is just the best meat – I don’t get chicken breast. I think it’s a publicity stunt that we’ve convinced people it’s delicious.

I’m a big buffet dude, or I’m a big cheap-food-and-order-more-when-I-need-it dude.

I’m a slave to the culture, so I see an Audi, a Denali, or an Escalade, my neighbor got the four-door Porsche. I have a really nice truck. But it’s a Durango and I like frontin’! I like to ride by and show off.

I don’t go to any sexy places to eat where they give you half a lamb chop and one bean. I like going, ‘Uhhh, I’m done’ when I eat.