28 Quotes by Paul Neilan

Lying to other people is fine and usually funny, but lying to yourself is tacky.

There comes a time in every man’s life when he wakes up drunk on the toilet and begins to doubt the choices he has made. and when that time comes at least twice a day, every day. something needs to be done.

If stealing a few saltshakers was wrong I didn’t want to be right.

In the long term everyone traffics in foregone conclusions, and in the short term they just get drunk. This is the way it has always been. Some half-assed ambiguity masquerading as mystery is all anybody’s really looking for.

Mockery when done without prejudice or discretion, can be a form of respect. It’s the closest we’ll ever come to true equality.

Anybody can make something up and have it sound believable. The hard part is remembering all the lies you’ve told, and all the people you’ve told them to, and then living the lies that have become your life.

Two wrongs don’t make a right but sometimes they make me laugh. I am a vengeful god.

I heard them complain sometimes, but it was the ineffectual bitching of people who didn’t expect anything about their situation to ever change, and who wouldn’t know what to do with themselves if it did.

He had strawberry blond hair. That’s enough right there. That’s all you need to know. If you’re a man with strawberry blond hair and you’re not in the circus or a Viking, odds are you have not found your place in life and never will.