169 Quotes by Paul Reiser

I'd never directed before and this movie's too important to me to put in the hands of some guy who has never directed. Even if it's me

I can't get past the fact that food is coming out of my wife's breasts. What was once essentially an entertainment center has now become a juice bar.

Not only do I sing to him, I sing entire conversations. You become Jerry Lewis.

They're not the sharpest people - babies. So, you must be everything to them.

You know what? The obvious is obvious for a reason.

Every time I see Peter Falk in the movie I think that would be great. We'd be fun together

I've come to realize that making it your life's work to be different than your parents is not only hard to do, it's a dumb idea. Not everything we found fault with was necessarily wrong; we were right, for example, to resent, as kids, being told when to go to bed. We'd be equally wrong, as parents, to let our kids stay up all night. To throw out all the tools of parenting just because our parents used them would be like making yourself speak English without using ten letters of the alphabet; it's hard to do.

She kind of reminds one of Helen. There's something very similar about Elizabeth Perkins.

Three has always been tougher than Two. Think of any of your famous threesomes. The Three Stooges? Look at the anger there. My bet is that before Curly was born, Moe and Larry could play together for hours without even a single poke in the eye. Huey, Dewey, and Louie? Donald Duck never had a moment's peace. The Good, the Bad, and the Ugly? I rest my case.