458 Quotes by Penn Jillette

It's amazing to me how many people think that voting to have the government give poor people money is compassion. Helping poor and suffering people yourself is compassion. Voting for our government to use guns to give money to help poor and suffering people is immoral, self-righteous, bullying laziness.

The only secret of magic is that I'm willing to work harder on it than you think it's worth.

I intend to do the Penn & Teller show until they pry my cheesy magic wand from my cold dead fingers.

Only Atheists have morals, the religious have reward and punishment. That's not morality, that's sucking up.

Bacon is so good by itself that to put it in any other food is an admission of failure. You're basically saying, 'I can't make this other food taste good, so I'll throw in bacon.'

If you believe that there’s a heaven and hell and people could be going to hell—or not getting eternal life or whatever—and you think that, well, it’s not really worth telling them this because it would make it socially awkward. . . . How much do you have to hate somebody to not proselytize? How much do you have to hate somebody to believe that everlasting life is possible and not tell them that?

The fact of the matter is, if you want to be anonymous, you're still better off at the peep show,

I get along so much better with fundamentalist Christians than I do with wishy-washy liberals, who want everyone to get along.

If every trace of any single religion were wiped out and nothing were passed on, it would never be created exactly that way again. There might be some other nonsense in its place, but not that exact nonsense. If all of science were wiped out, it would still be true and someone would find a way to figure it all out again.