458 Quotes by Penn Jillette

The vast majority of people who have guns never hurt anybody.

The definition of a stupid thing is something that if you do everything right, you still get hurt. Fire-eating and love are stupid things.

Once you have somebody that is telling you, 'We are interpreting God for you,' it seems like you either agree or you don't. You either say, like Martin Luther, 'I'm going to have a direct relationship with the word of God,' or I''m going to go through a conduit of God on Earth,' which would be the Pope.

For better or worse, in the 21st century, reality shows are the variety show.

If you believe that there’s a heaven and hell . . . how much do you have to hate somebody to believe that everlasting life is possible and not tell them that?

I will not counter the insanity of the PATRIOT Act with an overblown fear of my rights being taken away.

My love of computers, besides being practical, is very direct and visceral. I love the way things look on the screen.

If I were trying to avoid embarrassment, I wouldn't have stumbled my way through 'Dancing with the Stars.'

I do believe that a belief in God is crazy, but that doesn't mean that the people who believe in it are crazy. Those are two different things. Ideas can be stupid and crazy, and the people who hold those ideas are not necessarily stupid and crazy.