458 Quotes by Penn Jillette

Much better than the feeling of having things is the feeling of having earned things.

Bob Saget is the dirtiest comic who's ever lived. Nobody touches him.

If I had to imagine omniscient, omnipresent, omnipotent power in the universe that chose to make my mother suffer, I don't know how I would make that make sense in the universe.

I believe that the best way to become an atheist is to read the bible

There are performers who have built their whole career doing magic on TV and can't really perform live at all - don't really have jobs and skills.

Bob Barr is not crazy enough for my taste.

The secret truth of 'Celebrity Apprentice' is that it isn't very hard... 'Celebrity Apprentice' is easy like junior high is easy. All the arithmetic, the creative writing and the history are super simple, but like junior high, you do that easy work surrounded by people who are full-tilt, hormone-raging bug nutty.

Comedy is taken care of by a free market.

We know what racist people look like. They don't deny it. They just don't!