31 Quotes by Pete Hautman

You already have the capacity to travel through time. Simply wait for the future to arrive.

So I sit and endure the stares and the pangs and twinges of Catholic guilt, knowing that I am doing the right thing if I’m right, and the right thing even if I’m wrong. Being Catholic is hard. Being ex-Catholic is even harder.

Dan is my ordinary friend. Everybody should have at least one ordinary friend and Dan is as ordinary as they come. He is so ordinary that most people have to meet him six or seven times before they remember his name.

I didn’t know what to say, but one thing was for sure: The Bank of Ted was closed.