110 Quotes by Pete Holmes

Comedians really are like a species. That's not to be exclusive. Anyone can kind of become one. You have to pay your dues, though.

I booked an E-Trade commercial. That's a lucrative gig.

I think a lot of pain in people's lives comes from not being open and honest about what they really think, what they really feel, what they like, what they don't like.

I saved my money.

Losing your faith is an essential part of having a three-dimensional, vivid, vibrant faith.

Yeah, I had a talk show canceled. Okay, let's go back to the list of people who had talk shows canceled. Johnny Carson had his first talk show canceled. Jon Stewart. Letterman. Conan O'Brien, if you look at 'The Tonight Show' as a show that got canceled.

I'm super happy to say that it's not that hard to write bad stand-up. I guess the trick is to write bad stand-up that sounds like you're trying to be good.

As soon as I heard the term 'comedy nerd,' I'd hoped there was a lot of them.

There are elements of comedy that can be competitive and back stab-y, but one of the underreported sides is that we love each other and help each other, kind of like a messed up extended family.