110 Quotes by Pete Holmes

When you do stand-up, it's so autonomous: I can say anything.

I needed to let go of the idea of a God who was mad at me for feeling how I was feeling. Now, I bask in an understanding of the divine that delights in truth and the complexities of the human experience - even when it's not very 'clean.'

I love alpha males.

I think what people respond to is someone being who they actually are.

The idea of saying 'the handsome Pete Holmes' is preposterous.

I was raised evangelical, so if you want to get offended, let's get offended. I have a master's degree in being offended.

We'd all like to increase pleasure and minimize pain, but the truth is, suffering, even collective suffering that we're going through, is often the earmark that some real change is happening.

If I go out and do a set, there's a good chance that I'll watch another comedian. I'll think - not necessarily their words, but oftentimes the message that's behind the words - the sort of belief that their unspokenly advocating, well, sometimes that's offensive.

The world is so mysterious, and there's so many social interactions where I have no idea what I'm supposed to do - what's being asked of me, what's expected of me.