189 Quotes by Ray Romano

Mike Royce and I have always had success writing what we know. What we know now is that we’re middle-aged, neurotic and fat.

I wasn’t really that informed about the two-year-old. Oh, I’d read about them, and occasionally I’d see documentaries on the Discovery Channel showing two-year-olds in the wild, where they belong...

You might think that’s an exaggeration but believe me, if you leave twin two-year-olds alone in your living room, at some point a cow will be airborne.

After ‘Raymond,’ there was this big feeling of, ‘What do I do next?’

I’d rather be in Las Vegas 104 degrees than New York 90 degrees, you know why? Legalized prostitution. In any weather that takes the edge off.

Flappers sounds like where waitresses go after they’re too old to work at Hooters.

In school, I wasn’t a very good student – I was very irresponsible and never did the studying but always liked to get the laugh.

You don’t want to shock them and do something totally opposite, but you also want to play a different character.

Whenever I walk off the golf course, I thank God that I’m able to tell a joke. I thank God I’m good at something.