189 Quotes by Ray Romano

The only thing I miss from the sitcom format is that immediate gratification of when you’re, if we’re talking about comedy, of the live audience.

Parents, just keep in mind that kids will always round off to the nearest obscenity...

If golf wasn’t enjoyable and there wasn’t a lot of humor and enjoyment, even though the game is so frustrating, you would wonder why you put yourself through it.

Identical twins. I’m glad they’re identical ’cause you save money on photographs. That’s what I like. Yeah. Here’s my little boy. I got another one just like it.

I was at home waiting for projects. I was on Parenthood and there was one season left, and I was thinking, “What’s next?” I’m at this age where I’m trying to write my own script, and they sent this over and I decided to put myself on tape.

That’s the one thing I have over any twenty-one-year-old: a proud history of accumulated neuroses. That’s the game in which I’m da man.

Everyone should have kids. They are the greatest joy in the world. But they are also terrorists. You'll realize this as soon as they're born, and they start using sleep deprivation to break you.

If I had never gotten famous or rich, I think I'd be equally neurotic.

I have some classes in accounting, but I don't know anything about accounting. I - you know, when my accountant tells me all the things he does, it's a foreign language to me.