51 Quotes by Retta

A lot of comics fly by the seat of their pants, and they pride themselves on being witty, quick, and off-the-cuff. That's not my show. I wrote a show, and I want to do the show I wrote. I'm not interested in what the audience has to say.

I do a bit called, 'You go, girl!' where I say, 'Don't tell me 'You go, girl!' I get it. I don't need you encourage me.' And nine times out of 10 after I finish the bit, some guy in the back will yell 'You go, girl!' I get a lot of that or 'I hear ya!' I don't generally - knock on fake wood - get mean heckling.

The only time I don't get nervous is if I'm doing a home club in L.A. and I know all of my friends there because then I play to my friends. When I first started doing comedy, I hated it when my friends came; it made me more nervous. Now I just try to make them laugh.

I think anybody who works with Malcolm, the first thing they go, 'Holy cow! I'm working with Theo!' because that was part of my childhood.

I love a sexy caper show, and I love shows about con artists.

I've actually taken meetings about hosting a late-night talk show. I don't know that what we know as a late-night talk show is what I want. But I've been talked into a talk show, but it would be different.

If you follow me on social media, you may know that I am an L.A. Kings fan. I'm not kuh-ray-zee, but I am definitely enthusiastic. I love me some Kaaannnngggsss.

I know that meeting a black woman with a love for hockey is a bit like stumbling upon a unicorn in the woods... or a unicorn anywhere. I'm sure it'd be just as surreal finding a unicorn in downtown Chicago. But here I am.

If someone annoys you on Twitter, check their feed first: you need to know if they're crazy.