23 Quotes by Richard J. Needham

The seven ages of man: spills, drills, thrills, bills, ills, pills and wills.

People are like birds - from a distance, beautiful: from close up, those sharp beaks, those beady little eyes.

Love is a fever which marriage puts to bed and cures.

Lovely girls are terribly insecure. They are convinced that their legs are too thick, and their bottoms are too big, and their bosoms are too small. They are conviced that their nose is the wrong shape, that their ears stick out, and that their eyes are too close together. They need a man who will tell them they are exactly right as they are. They do not believe him, but they need to hear it said.

God punishes us mildly by ignoring our prayers and severely by answering them.

Power is a drug on which the politicians are hooked. They buy it from the voters, using the voters' own money.

If you would have God hear you when you pray, you must hear him when he speaks.

To create a housing shortage in a huge country, heavily wooded, with a small population -- ah, that's proof of pure political genius.

When a man tells me he's run out of steam in the sex department, I'll tell him, 'Count your blessings; you've escaped from the clutches of a cruel tyrant. Enjoy!