27 Quotes by Rick Reilly

One time after one of these long trips, my wife and I had been separated for a long time and I called her and said, 'Baby, you better meet me at the gate with a mattress, ... And she goes, 'You better be the first guy off that plane.'

Joe Kay isn't half as quick of feet or brain as the old one,

I'm happy because I'm not in Detroit. I never have to live in Detroit.

And you know who lets them get away with lying? ... Baseball writers. Hardly any Hall of Fame voters have the (guts) to stand up and say, 'These guys cheated. I'm not voting them into the Hall of Fame.'

They look like they had a wonderful time at Circuit City. They spent $700 there.

I mean, c'mon, ... Yeah, 'It's a sport. Let's kill a rabbit.' Let's not call that a sport. I actually heard a guy go, 'I never apologize to the kill. I thank him for the contest.'

And here he was, a junior walk-on place-kicker whose sore leg had kept him out of practice for three weeks, standing 29 yards from never having to buy another beer in the state of Iowa.

I write the story that nobody reads. Someday, I'm going to write it in German to see if anyone notices.

College football is LSU's Tiger Stadium at night.