512 Quotes by Ricky Gervais

I never think of myself as a celebrity - or even an actor, actually. I think of myself as a writer-director.

I can't find someone funny whom I don't like. Hitler told great jokes. I didn't find it funny at all.

Next time someone tells me they believe in God, I'll say 'Oh which one? Zeus? Hades? Jupiter? Mars? Odin? Thor? Krishna? Vishnu? Ra?...' If they say 'Just God. I only believe in the one God,' I'll point out that they are nearly as atheistic as me. I don't believe in 2,870 gods, and they don't believe in 2,869.

Of all the disciplines involved in making anything - TV, film or anything I do - the writing is the most valuable commodity.

You won't burn in hell. But be nice anyway.

I'm a failed pop star. I always sneak a song into everything I do.

People have let me down in the past. I've loved something, and it's become a disgrace. I'd rather start again.

People think "The Office" was improvised, but it's all on the page. We do that because what we found is that in the early days of "The Office," we went in with it sort of 80 percent scripted and we did some things and then we improv'd and we did - you know, and it gets a laugh on the floor because it's the first time they've heard it.

Dear Religion, This week I safely dropped a man from space while you shot a child in the head for wanting to go to school. Yours, Science.