512 Quotes by Ricky Gervais

She said, ‘I’m your biggest fan,’ and I said, ‘Who are you?’ She said, ‘Paris Hilton.’

I am not a wolf in sheep’s clothing, I’m a wolf in wolf’s clothing.

The truth doesn’t hurt. Whatever it is, it doesn’t hurt. It’s better to know the truth.

Of all the disciplines involved in making anything – TV, film or anything I do – the writing is the most valuable commodity.

It breaks your heart when you throw something away, but it’s what left that counts. It’s like worrying about the bits of rock you have knocked off in order to make a beautiful statue. You’ve wasted half the rock, yeah, but it’s the Venus di Milo!

A Christian telling an atheist they’re going to hell is as scary as a child telling an adult they’re not getting any presents from Santa.

If you’re surrounded by idiots, you’re the unpopular one and the odd one out because idiots don’t like smart asses.

I’m not a person that’s easily embarrassed, but I’m embarrassed for other people.

People confuse the subject of the joke with the target of the joke, and they’re very rarely the same.