512 Quotes by Ricky Gervais

There are good and bad critics like good or bad artists. A good critic says why they didn’t like it. A bad critic gives it away that they don’t like you as a person. I quite like that as well, because it means that I’ve won.

The world is not entirely comic and it’s not entirely dramatic. You have a laugh and then someone finds a lump and you deal with that. Because that is what life is like.

Our challenge with “The Office” and “Extras” was to get it completely scripted but to find a cast that could make it look like they were saying it for the first time.

Real racist jokes or sexist jokes aren’t funny – not because they’re offensive, but because they’re not true. As soon as a joke is based on an untruth, it’s not funny.

I didn’t have toys and bikes; I’d go out and pick up rocks. I was into science and nature. It was my first love. I was going to be a vet and a marine biologist. I went to university and studied biology for two weeks and I just thought: “I’ve been conned!”

Growing up, the two things that made my blood boil were religious intolerance and animal cruelty. I’ve never understood it. I can’t stand to have an animal in pain.

My philosophy? Have a laugh for as long as you can and don’t get run over. Or stabbed.

I’ve never worked out what the moral of Humpty Dumpty is. I can only think of: Don’t sit on a wall, if you’re an egg.

I’m basically a ‘do unto others’ type person. I don’t have any religious feelings because I’m an atheist, but I live my life like there’s a God. And if there was he’d probably love me.