28 Quotes by Ring Lardner

There isn't anything on earth as depressing as an old sportswriter.

They (wives) are people who think when the telephone bell rings, it is against the law not to answer it

Although he is a very poor fielder, he is a very poor hitter.

Some like them hot,some like them cold. Some like them when they're not to darn old Some like them fat,some like them lean. Some like them only at sweet sixteen. Some like them dark,some like them light. Some like them in the park,late at night. Some like them fickle,some like them true, But the time I like them is when they're like you

Shut up,' he explained.

How can you write if you can’t cry?

He looked at me as if I were a side dish he hadn’t ordered.

The race is not always to the swift nor the battle to the strong – but that’s the way to bet.

For inst. when the telephone rings now days I am scared to death that its somebody asking us to go somewheres for dinner or somewheres. Six yrs. ago I was afraid it wasn’t. At 29 home was like they say on the vaudeville stage, a place to go when all the other joints was closed up. At 35 its a place you never leave without a loud squawk.