510 Quotes by Roald Dahl

A man does not rise to become the Queen’s butler unless he is gifted with extraordinary ingenuity, adaptability, versatility, dexterity, cunning, sophistication, sagacity, discretion, and a host of other talents than neither you nor I possess. Mr Tibbs had them all.

I understand what you’re saying, and your comments are valuable, but I’m gonna ignore your advice.

No-one got rich being honest, the customers have to be diddled.

If the Good Lord intended for us to walk, he wouldn’t have invented rollar skates.

A good plot is like a dream.

Some three years ago I drove down to Provence to spend a summer weekend with a lady who was interesting to me simply because she possessed an extraordinarily powerful muscle in a region where other women have no muscles at all.

Don’t gobblefunk around with words.

Don’t argue, my dear child, please don’t argue!” cried Mr. Wonka. “It’s such a waste of precious time!

Sex is like nose picking. It’s fine as long as you practice it yourself, but it’s disgusting watching someone else doing it.