1,085 Quotes by Robert A. Heinlein

Sex should be friendly. Otherwise stick to mechanical toys; it’s more sanitary.

A pacifist male is a contradiction in terms. Most self-described “pacifists” are not pacific; they simply assume false colors. When the wind changes, they hoist the Jolly Roger.

A monarch’s neck should always have a noose around it – it keeps him upright.

Never crowd youngsters about their private affairs – sex especially.

Value’ has no meaning other than in relation to living beings. The value of a thing is always relative to a particular person, is completely personal and different in quantity for each living human – ‘market value’ is a fiction, merely a rough guess at the average personal values, all of which must be quantitively different or trade would be impossible.

I have spent too much of my life opening doors for cats – I once calculated that, since the dawn of civilization, nine hundred and seventy-eight man-centuries have been used up that way. I could show you figures.

We have had enough guesses; I’ll state the obvious: Under our system every voter and officeholder is a man who has demonstrated through voluntary and difficult service that he places the welfare of the group ahead of personal advantage. And that is the one practical difference. He may fail in wisdom, he may lapse in civic virtue. But his average performance is enormously better than that of any other class of rulers in history.

How can you argue with a woman who won’t?

Little Brother... precious darling... little imp with lively legs and lovely lewd lascivious lecherous licentious libido... beautiful bumps and pert posterior... with soft voice and gentle hands. My baby darling.