198 Quotes by Robert Benchley

Opera is when a guy gets stabbed in the back and, instead of bleeding, he sings.

The surest way to make a monkey of a man is to quote him.

It took me fifteen years to discover that I had no talent for writing, but I couldn't give it up because by that time I was too famous.

The only cure for a real hangover is death.

If there is a streak of ham anywhere in an actor, Shakespeare will bring it out.

A dog teaches a boy fidelity, perseverance, and to turn around three times before lying down.

There are two kinds of travel: first class and with children.

As for me, except for an occasional heart attack, I feel as young as I ever did.

The problem of what to wear while lolling about the house on a Sunday afternoon is becoming more and more acute as the fashions in lolling garments change. The American home is in danger of taking on the appearance of an Oriental bordello.