19 Quotes by Robert Bevan

Dude!" cried Time. "What the fuck, man!""Sorry," said Cooper. "I thought this was a bathroom." He stuck out a pouty lower lip. "What could possibly have led you to believe this was a bathroom?" the lizard creature hissed. "The door is clearly marked OFFICE!""I can't read your lizard language," said Cooper.

Cooper reached a clawed hand under his loincloth and scratched his balls thoughtfully.

UUUUUUUUUNNNNNNNNNNNNNGGGGGGGGG,” groaned someone in a shrill British accent. It sounded like Hermione Granger giving birth to a full-grown Hagrid.

It smacked loud, like the hot nun’s ruler against the priest’s bare ass in Penance and Penetration IV: Hot Cross Buns.

We live in a world where very smart people, scientists and engineers, make things so that the rest of us stupid people don’t have to understand how they work. It’s great for us. It allows us to have all sorts of luxuries without having the first clue as to how they work.

Three of Rostand the Baker’s seven children have conspicuously blue eyes and blond hair, much like Stanford P. Ames, the smithy who was found dead in his kitchen with forty-seven stab wounds in his back. Police called it a suicide, but there are rumors.

I’m an eight hundred pound minotaur. Whether I trust you or not is inconsequential as long as we both know I could kill you without breaking a sweat.” “I.

People don’t believe the person telling the truth. They either believe the person telling them what they want to hear, or they believe the person they like better.

He easily outran everyone, bolting deeper into the forest like a coked-up hooker fleeing a crime scene.