40 Quotes by Robert Rankin

Need to get to Ruislip by sparrow-fart though', said the squadron leader. 'Think you can do that? Can I come along for the ride?

This is not the way things are done in Boy’s Own Adventure books. I recall no mentions of homosexual gang-rape and cannibalism

Probably one of those sinister organisations that lurked behind the mask of amusing acronym, such as BUM, for example - the Bermondsey Union of Minstrels. Or WILLY, the Whitechapel Institution for Long-Legged Yodellers. It could be any one of a hundred such evil cabals. With the notable exception of the Meritorious Union For Friendship, Decency, Individualism, Virtue and Educational Resources, who were above reproach.

If there are no spots on a sugar cube then I’ve just put a dice in my tea.

Omally, as ever, slept the sleep of the just, which was quite unjust of him, considering he had no right to do it.

Calm down please, sir, if you will,’ said the bobby, still retaining a firm hold upon the horse’s reins. ‘ “Stolen” is such an ugly word. It is not technically stealing if you are a British archaeologist and you acquire items of historical significance in the savage realms and liberate them to civilisation.

There were large and small ones too. And some quite in-between. But all of equal nastiness.And smelliness and ghastliness.For they would eat a fellow up, as one might fish and chips

Too afraid of plagiarising someone, so I stopped reading fiction in 1981.

Yes, I have over the years done a lot of the audio books, which are just plain reading.