213 Quotes by Ron White

"I’ve never been one to look up the ladder. I’ve always looked down the ladder. As long as there’s one guy down there, I’m fine."

"The way my brain processes information is quite odd. I mean, I have Attention Deficit Disorder and another learning disability I can’t even spell. I don’t even have a high school diploma. I’m smart, but you can’t prove it on paper."

"I quit smoking cigarettes and with the $70 a month I am saving not smoking cigarettes I’m smoking $700 worth of cigars."

"It’s something that’s really fun to do. It’s a family business."

"I smoke really good cigars, I don’t smoke Cuban cigars. I would never do anything as Un-American as smoke a decent cigar."

"I’ve got a great cigar collection – it’s actually not a collection, because that would imply I wasn’t going to smoke every last one of ’em."

"The hardest that I’ve laughed at a movie was probably Team America. I laughed ’til I thought I was just gonna throw up. I almost had to turn it off."

"From the very beginning I started with a beer and a cigarette because I couldn’t figure out what to do with my hands. So usually I have a beer and cigarette and that’s what I was doing with my hands because that looked natural and felt good."

"The bulk of my fans are my age, and I’m aging at the same rate they are. That makes me relevant. They like hearing what I have to say. I work hard at it, but it’s addicting, really."

"I’m a comedian, and I like to work on my live show, and if I’m doing television, I don’t have time to work on my live show, and I can become a lame comic, and that sucks."