213 Quotes by Ron White

That's the beauty of being a straight-to-DVD star. It really helps you stay under the media's radar.

You can tell on-stage when a joke's starting to lose its pop. It doesn't mean people don't want to hear it anymore; it means I don't want to do it anymore. Because I want to move on to something that has a knee-jerk reaction just like you get when you tell somebody a joke that they've never heard.

My biggest pet peeve, I guess, is other comedians criticizing Larry the Cable Guy.

I was desperate for new material, so anything I can write a joke about that works is in the act. No matter who it offends, or who it bothers - doesn't matter if its something my wife hates.

I begged the universe to make me a famous comedian, and it did. So I tend not to ask for any more.

My uncle was a preacher, and I used to go watch him preach. He was also funny, so I'm very 'preacher-ish' on stage, not by intent but because that's where I learned to talk in front of people.

I still love to walk on stage and make people laugh, and I work very, very hard at it, and I take it seriously.

I was always a funny guy. I don't think anybody that makes it to this level of stand-up wasn't a funny guy when they were young.

The first thing I ever got my hands on was Andy Griffith's 'What It Was, Was Football.' I was fascinated with the fact that every syllable made it funny, and I would laugh even though I didn't know what any of it meant.