213 Quotes by Ron White

If I'm in a town for very long, usually I'll work out in the comedy club just to keep my chops or work out the beats on new stuff.

There's no such thing as a hit joke.

I've been married a few times. I'm not good at it.

Comedy is great because there's no overhead.

I've asked these guys in rock bands with all the 18-wheelers driving to the venue how they make money. I just don't understand it. But I don't understand a lot of things.

All I know how to do is take what's on my mind and spit it out funny. I don't know what else I could do besides comedy.

I don't think we have a surplus of fine educators in this country that we can just start dropping them for no reason whatsoever.

Vegas is famous for a lot of things, and bad marriages are one of them. Margo and I are proof that you can make this work. It just takes a little effort.

People, when they go on stage, tend to be animated and try to force things out instead of relaxing and bringing it in.