213 Quotes by Ron White

In Texas, we have the death penalty, and we use it. That's right. If you come to Texas and kill somebody, we will kill you back.

There are a million really good cigars, you gotta really float around cigars. It's not like being locked into a brand of cigarettes; at least to me it's not.

I don't even plan things until later, so no I got no plans.

You can't fix stupid. There's not a pill you can take, or a class you can go to.

Years ago, while I was watching a baseball game between the Baltimore Orioles and the Texas Rangers, I remember staring in awe at Cal Ripken. I realized during this game that 'you don't have to be flashy' or have 'power numbers' to be great. It's about the simple things that are the hard things. It's about leadership, work ethic and commitment.

You can’t fix stupid.

You can’t fix stupid. There’s not a pill you can take, or a class you can go to.

When life hands you lemons make lemonade. Then find someone who’s life gave them Tequila and have a party.

If life gives you lemons, you should make lemonade...