196 Quotes by Russell Baker

Live by publicity, you’ll probably die by publicity.

I’ve had an unhappy life, thank God.

Ireland really is my problem; the breaking point of the huge suppuration which all British and all European society now is.

Don’t try to make children grow up to be like you, or they may do it.

A $10 million windfall? At today’s prices, I’d feel almost as rich as I did one day in 1936 when I found a dime on the sidewalk and blew the whole wad on 20 Mary Jane candy bars, a box of jujubes, and a double feature.

The best advice I can give anybody about going out into the world is this: Don’t do it. I have been out there. It is a mess.

We all come from the past, and children ought to know what it was that went into their making, to know that life is a braided cord of humanity stretching up from time long gone, and that it cannot be defined by the span of a single journey from diaper to shroud.

Life seemed to be an educator’s practical joke in which you spent the first half learning and the second half learning that everything you learned in the first half was wrong.

Inanimate objects are classified scientifically into three major categories – those that don’t work, those that break down, and those that get lost.