65 Quotes by Sara Wolf

The waitress scuttles away, and I make a shooing motion at the old couple who’re still glaring. “Don’t you have something to better to work on?” I hiss. “Like golfing or eating prunes or dying?” The old lady looks shocked. “Okay, sorry, not dying. But seriously, prunes are good for you.

Hairy monkeyballs!” I hiss. “Dogshit on a stick! Puke pancakes!” A head pokes in. Wren, green eyes smiling, walks over to my bed.“I knew you were awake. Who else spews such original and captivating swears?

Come! Come sit by me. It’s a nice bench. Nice and lovely on the butt.”“You’re drunk.” “Yeah, and you’re ugly, but do I complain about it? No! Because I don’t complain about things that I can’t change. That’s called intelligence.

I cannot, for the life of me, remember what we were just conversing about! Alas. I will forever remember this time we spent together affectionately and oh god I remember now you pervert!”“You were the one who shouted ‘sex’!” He hisses.“You were the one who was born, so really I think that’s the root of the problem.

I will pull your pancreas out through your nose and feed it back to you in a drip inserted into your anus is that clear?

Yes, my style sucks. But at least I didn't bowl half a game with a nacho stuck to my ass.

Is it? Because that picture of me was taken by my old school's yearbook club, and they put it in the section titled 'STUDENT FAILSAUCES! XD.What's an XD?A sideways laughing face of horrendous proportions. Don't change the subject.

Did you have fun? How many boys did you make out with? Seventy. At least. How many shots did you take?Fourteen. I let go of the wheel halfway home and Jesus drove me the rest of the way.

It’s hard to know when you’ve been holding on to something until you finally let it go, or it leaves of its own accord.