93 Quotes by Sarah Millican

I'm very protective of my material. And you have to be, because it's very easy for people just to steal jokes.

As I ran out of grandparents at the age of 16, the only time I ever see old folk is when I'm over-taking them on a motorway, they're in my audience laughing at filth, or in any park.

I am very new to cooking. At school, our home economics lessons were very poor. We were told to pick a recipe and then cook it. So no actual teaching involved then.

It seemed wrong to look forward to watching a man cut his arm off, and especially weird having dined at a carvery before going to the cinema, but Danny Boyle's '127 Hours' didn't disappoint.

But I do, like proper cooks, have an oven burn on my arm. I ran it under the tap for a couple of minutes but then the biscuits I'd made were cool enough to eat and I had to make a choice. Tiny scar and full belly it is then.

I'm old enough to remember the days when you actually missed your favourite programme. Missed it. And cried. Possibly because you were a child, but not always.

Survival is something I've always managed. To be fair, my parents did the first 16 years without any input from me. I ploughed through many a KitKat, but it was their insistence on vegetables and coats that kept me alive.

I'm in awe of actors, I think they're amazing because, I don't think I can even play me in anything. I'm really impressed when you see people like Chris Ramsey, John Bishop and Jason Cook. Just taking up comedy acting, let alone serious acting, terrifies me to the core.

I was obsessed with films as a kid and so recorded as many as I could. I spent all my pocket money and any money earned by doing extra chores on blank videos for my burgeoning cinema.