40 Quotes by Sarcastic

They say all marriages are made in heaven, but so are thunder and lightning.

Democracy means simply the bludgeoning of the people by the people for the people.

Those who are easily shocked should be shocked more often.

I could dance with you until the cows come home. On second thought I’d rather dance with the cows until you come home.

We have so much time and so little to do. Strike that, reverse it.

The best things in life are free – and $19.95.

Today is Valentine’s Day – or, as men like to call it, Extortion Day!

The secret of a successful restaurant is sharp knives.

Suppose you were an idiot, and suppose you were a member of Congress; but I repeat myself.