564 Quotes by Scott Adams

Stem cells are like toenail clippings with a better career plan.

I would sometimes sit in a crowded restaurant, and say, 'You know, I'm the only person in this restaurant who can't draw.'

As long as there are annoying people in the world, I won't run out of material.

I rank money higher than social life or meaning because once you have money, those other things are easier to get. For example, you won't have much of a social life if you can't afford to do anything. And you can't make money if your health is a mess.

The world isn't fair, but as long as it's tilting in my direction, I find that there's a natural cap to my righteous indignation.

I'm surrendering myself to the realities of the Internet.

Every generation of humans believed it had all the answers it needed, except for a few mysteries they assumed would be solved at any moment. And they all believed their ancestors were simplistic and deluded. What are the odds that you are the first generation of humans who will understand reality ?

I can't memorize names and shake hands at the same time.

The computer cuts my production time in half. I love it.