564 Quotes by Scott Adams

When life gives you lemons... choke on them and die... you stupid lemon eater.

There's a gigantic gray area between good moral behavior and outright felonious activities. I call that the Weasel Zone and it's where most of life happens.

I'm not happy on vacation. In those rare times when I have three hours with no work I have to do, I'm terribly uncomfortable.

Scientists often invent words to fill the holes in their understanding.These words are meant as conveniences until real understanding can be found. ... Words such as dimension and field and infinity ... are not descriptions of reality, yet we accept them as such because everyone is sure someone else knows what the words mean.

I love magazines. It's such McNugget kind of information.

It is better for your career to do nothing, than to do something and attract criticism.

The best part about being my age is in knowing how my life worked out. Sure, there's a lot more living to go, but there isn't much doubt that I'll always be the 'Dilbert guy.' Unless I go on a crime spree, in which case I'll be that stabbin Dilbert guy.

My old life - no amount of getting used to it would have made it right.

Stress is your body's way of saying you haven't worked enough unpaid overtime.