564 Quotes by Scott Adams

Beware of those who try to sell you simple answers to complex questions.

I had several different bosses during the early years of 'Dilbert.' They were all pretty sure I was mocking someone else.

Great minds don't think alike. If they did, the Patent Office would only have about fifty inventions.

If you're following the news, you know that the major religions differ in their interpretation of the holy books. For example, one way to interpret God's will is that you should love your neighbor. An alternate reading of the holy books might lead you to rig a donkey cart with small mortar rockets and aim it at a hotel full of infidels. In summary, po-tay-to, poh-tah-to. Religions are very flexible.

For most of my career I did one comic a day, every day, including weekends and holidays.

I keep hearing the argument that some things are constitutional while other things are not. The idea is that we should be in favor of all the things that were decided over 200 years ago by a bunch of slave-owning cross-dressers who pooped in holes.

I can't bring myself to believe in a God with a personality like my own. I base that on the paucity of lightning attacks on people who deserve it.

We're just looking at commercial and industrial land in transitional areas.

Everyone says there's a lack of leadership in the world these days. I think we should all be thankful, because the only reason for leadership is to convince people to do things that are either dangerous (like invading another country) or stupid (working extra hard without extra pay).