564 Quotes by Scott Adams

I'm primarily just an investor.

I was surprised to learn that doing household chores qualifies as romantic for most of you [women]. That's exactly why you should never hire a butler if you strike it rich - the minute that Jeeves starts unloading the dishwasher without being asked, your wife is going to start humping his leg.

Cordova is a team with a good football tradition of state titles. They aren't going to stay down very long and will eventually bounce back. It's exciting that our program has gotten to the level where we can compete with other top programs.

Let's form proactive synergy restructuring teams.

If you want success, figure out the price, then pay it.

Creativity is allowing oneself to make mistakes. Art is knowing which ones to keep.

Dilbert: I'm obsessed with inventing a perpetual motion machine. Most scientists think it's impossible, but I have something they don't. Dogbert: A lot of spare time? Dilbert: Exactly.

My investments have been hurt.

I used to be into gadgets but it just seemed gadgets got boring.